Stop Auditioning.

Stop moulding yourself into a person you think other people want you to be!

There, I said it! Out loud. To other people, would you believe?

Seriously, right now I could kick myself. Hard! It has only taken me two decades, yeah, you heard right....... Two decades, to reach this conclusion.  That's a long time to live with idea that you have to be, do and say what other people expect of you.

The best advice I can give to you and myself this year, is to take off the mask.  Let your full self be realised.  Don't live your life according to the expectations of others.  Let your authentic self shine brightly, as you step boldly into 2012.

All my life I have been a people-pleaser.  Trying my hardest to fit into lives of people I find my life's path crossing.  Feeling like I am the one who has to meet their standards, their measure of acceptability.  Upping my ante to ensure I am acknowledged and recognised.

 SMACK, BANG, WALLOP, POW!

This is actually a two way process! Who Knew??  Whether it be a job, friend, lifestyle, possible future mate. You have to consider is this a good match for me?   Stop and ask yourself, not so much, are you good enough for them, but rather, are they good enough for you?

Question, what do they bring to the table of your life?

 Why not consider life as a matching process?  As a two way transaction? Because essentially, that is exactly what life is.

It's very difficult not to look internally at yourself when you find situations or people in your life that don't match.  It can be tempting to over-analyse where you went wrong, what you could have done differently, how you can overcompensate to ingratiate yourself with the situation or person.  Don't! You should never change yourself to match another person's idea of who THEY think YOU should be. Just chalk it up to a mis-match and move on.

It pays to be honest with yourself . Who you are, what your beliefs are, your strengths and weaknesses, because when people are a genuine match they gravitate into your orbit and become firm believers in your life and you in theirs and believe me when this works....... it works. Fireworks explode in your heart, because you know you don't need to be anybody, but your authentic self.

You are perfect how you are.  Never forget.

" I am who I am and who I am needs no excuses " ~ Gloria Gaynor.

www.youtube.com

30 Good Manners For A Successful Life.

" A man's manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait"

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe.

I am of the opinion that what you say and how you act is who you are.  It doesn't matter to me whether you are the CEO of your own household or the CEO of some mega corporation, if you don't display good manners, then you won't have my respect.  

You don't need a decimal point in your bank balance, be adorned by the fashions of the moment or drive the flashiest car, to show the world you have class and elegance.  Manners don't cost a penny, but can be worth a fortune to the woman or man who shows proper etiquette, as it enhances a person's reputation.  Reputation is all that you have, so guard it with your life.

30 Good Manners For A Successful Life.

1.   Use the terms, ' Please ', ' Thank you ' and ' You're welcome ', when conversing with other people.

2.   Ask ' How are you? ', when greeting someone.

3.   Repeat a persons name when introduced to you.

4.   Say, ' Nice/Lovely to meet you ' when parting form a new acquaintance.

5.  Smile.

6.   Don't put others down, belittle them or gossip.

7.   Never criticise anyone in an attempt to demean or elevate yourself.

8.   Don't interrupt another whilst they are talking, unless they are being insulting or swearing.

9.   Keep your mouth closed when chewing.

10. Lay a napkin in your lap.

11. Start eating only when everyone is seated and ready.

12. Take small bites.

13. Eat quietly.

14. Sit with good posture.

15. Say, ' Excuse me ' when you need to go to the bathroom.

16. Do not be occupied with your mobile phone when in the company of others ~ unless it's an emergency.

17. Never assume anything about anyone.

18. Do not use bad language.

19. Open doors for people behind you.

20. Wipe your feet at the door and take off your shoes when entering someones home.

21. Apologise if you bump into someone.

22. Dress appropriately for the occasion.

23. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.

24. Apologise if you are late.

25. Say ' Excuse me ' if someone is blocking your way.

26. Do not speak with a mouthful of food.

27. Never eat off a knife when having a meal.

28. Make people feel valued, engage in conversation and maintain eye contact.

29. Live the golden rule ' Do unto others ........'.

30. Ladies first.

All Images:  http://pinterest.com/

Class and Sophistication.

Last night I watched ..........

Not for the first time, I hasten to add. I was thinking about how I wanted to start my first day of the New Year and the thought occurred to me that I should start as I mean to go on, by studying the styles and etiquette I wish to portray.  This was the perfect film with which to conduct my first study as Angelina Jolie portrays the essence of a true lady in this film noir.

Everything from her poise, to her gestures, to her style, have me mesmerised from the opening scene.  

The costumes of  Elise, the character portrayed by Angelina Jolie, were designed by acclaimed Hollywood designer Colleen Attwood.  All but one vintage dress............. this one......

A vintage 1950's Charles James dress.

Attwood designed all the other costumes by hand and the inspiration for this style of clothing is from the Hitchcock type movies evoking the feeling of timeless elegance.

From the first time you see Elise, you gain the sense that she is very much a lady, very elegant and very powerful. The opening outfit, shows Elise in  camel and ivory colours, with matching gloves and wrap.  

If you watch the film closely, you will see the character undo the buttons on her gloves to enable her to look at her watch. Such style.

This outfit was inspired by the famous Irene Lentz, who designed some of Doris Day's classic costumes.

Here is my interpretation of Angelina Jolie's opening outfit.

Gloves: farfetch  Coat ~ Carven: farfetch

Dress ~ Donna Karan: stylebop

Clutch: stylebop and shoes: mytheresa ~ Salvatore Ferragamo.

One of the amazing outfits is the timeless ballgown worn to an evening gala affair.

The 500 year old Scuola Grande Della de Missericordia in Venice was chosen for its classic and elegant formality.  Attwood also made this dress by hand, taking two weeks to finish.  The stunning choker is handcrafted from a vintage tiara.

Finally, the white silk dress with the stunning red lipstick, accentuates the timeless elegance look.

The hotel Suite shown above is the Doche Suite in the Hotel Danieli in Venice. http://www.danielihotelvenice.com/ This is considered one of the most luxurious hotels in the world.

This film also stars the delectable Jonny Depp.

  Catch it if you can, its a really good watch X.